October 13th, 2009
couple of weeks ago, I got an intriguing enquiry via the contact page on this site. To be fair, I get a lot of intriguing enquiries – but they’re the sort that make me wonder about the odd ways people like to spend their time. This one was different. It read:
Curious to know your rates for blogging and what topics you would feel
comfortable covering.
The first part of the message is commonplace – people always want to know what your rates are without telling you what the job is. We don’t supply them, preferring instead to quote on a job-by-job or retainer-by-retainer basis.
The second part, though, was far more interesting. What could the enquirer mean by ‘topics you feel comfortable covering’?
As it happens, he wanted niche lifestyle and sport content. But before I knew that, I started thinking about the topics I wouldn’t feel comfortable covering.
I couldn’t think of much. Erotica? No problem. Alcohol? With pleasure. Tobacco? Probably not, but it would be a wistful refusal (I gave up exactly 4 years today). Firearms? For the domestic market, I’d be delighted (I used to shoot at school and university).
Indeed, after racking my brains, these are the only topics I could definitively say I wouldn’t write about professionally:
- Politics. To do so would be commercial suicide. Besides, I would rather lop my hands off than write a word in support of some parties.
- Celery. I could not write a word in praise of celery. I loathe the stuff.
- Quack medicine. That includes homeopathy. I’m not in the business of offering ill people false hope.
And that’s about it. Though, of course, I reserve the right to not write about something because a) I find the topic boring or b) I don’t like the person who has asked me to write it.
What about you? Are there topics you wouldn’t touch with a bargepole? Or do you have your price…?
Does every copywriter have his price?
9:13 am. Filed under: copywriting.
Author: Ben Locker.
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Tags: celery, copywriting, ethics, politics
17 Responses to “Does every copywriter have his price?”
Great question Ben.
I’m with you on the celery thing, although if I were asked to write an anti-celery rant I’d be ALL OVER IT.
Hm, I think politics might be a rather less contentious and risky topic than religion however – a witty poke in the eye of x politician and y taxation law might be fine where a jab in the direction of z religious figure could have the disciples up in arms – perhaps the very ones you’d be happy writing about;-)
But other than that, and after applying the usual anti-bigotry principles, I’m pretty much game for anything (there’s a reason my sister once signed me up to a dating site and provided my job description as ‘writing whore’). Oh, but I wouldn’t touch animal testing labs or pro-hunt lobbies (through principle rather than fear of reprisals), or Bruce Forsyth’s fan page.
Thanks Anthony – good points. I’d be more than happy to poke fun at politics and religion, though I wouldn’t take the shilling for proselytising on behalf of either cause.
I’m also right with you on Bruce Forsyth’s fan page. I’d whore myself out for anything except that. Anything. Even celery.
Ben, I am frankly horrified at your attitude toward celery. But I think you’d have enjoyed helping me make my chicken pie the other day; I was chopping lots of them up. Heads off first. Vive la revolution!
Hi, Geminianeyes from Twitter here. :3
There are a number of topics I wouldn’t cover simply because I don’t know much about them, but the ones that I do know and wouldn’t cover under any circumstances would probably be alcohol and tobacco. I can’t take alcohol and I abhor tobacco (I grew up in a strong smoking family).
Politics, on the other hand, I don’t mind writing as long as my name’s not attached to the finished work (this only applies to work where I’ve been hired to write, not my own). There are certain political parties too, that I won’t write about, simply because politics in my country is a dirty, and at times, deadly game.
Wow – I actually share all three of your items!
I’d also add:
- theistic religion or anything related that might reinforce the feeling that there are bogeymen in the sky pulling our strings. Though if it were against religion – sure
- Anything that could cause significant negative effects for people who don’t deserve it (even if said content were legal), like this disgusting piece of journalism over at the Toronto Post.
Good post, interesting thoughts. I detest celery too, maybe it’s a copywriter thing? Both the raw and the cooked forms have their unique repulsion for me.
I’ve also pondered whether and when I would turn down work on principle. It’s one of those things you can’t really consider in the abstract though, it depends on the proposition – including, as your headline points out, the price.
A friend of mine confessed to reservations about writing extensively for a pesticide manufacturer. But they would have made the same pesticides with or without his talents, just as burglars go burgling regardless of who represents them in court. Are we to be tainted by every sin of our clients?
Oh, and I also received the same email approach (verbatim). Goes to show how easy it is to elicit proposals/prices from multiple suppliers these days…
I agree about religion, though I would be happy to write for certain Christian charities (eg CAFOD, SCIAF, Christian Aid etc), and certainly for local churches that need a hand. Though the more fundamental they got, the less keen I would be.
In other words, churches helping people out – fine. Religious proselytism – not fine.
The celery thing is beginning to bug me. There’s a clear majority against…
@Tom Albrighton: I don’t think that was an email approach backed by much cash, do you?
I’m not a copywriter but I have directed literally hundreds of TV commercials, so this is a question I’ve pondered many times. I’ve always thought that the two things I would draw the line at advertising were political parties (any of them) and the arms industry. Fortunately, there’s not much call for arms advertising on British TV. I have turned down a party political, though I might feel differently about that now, depends who was asking. I did once make a TV title sequence for Bruce Forsyth and found him a vain, primadonnaish, insufferable twat. Entirely indifferent to celery but a little chopped quantity of the stuff goes quite nicely in a ragu.
I was once asked by my VP to write a video script for an anti-abortion group, a charity of his. I (carefully) told him that he had asked the wrong person, but that I could recommend someone. We had a quite civil 2-hour conversation.
It’s a very interesting question to think about. Not too long ago I came across a company that sold adult products. The thing was it was a really good position, but I had to consider something besides moral objections: what could potentially prevent me from getting another job with a different company? I’m not sure if this is the same concern other copywriters have, but it was something that I considered.
I love celery, but I think I sold my soul to be a copywriter in the first place. The quack stuff is one-hundred-percent the most upsetting stuff — that and the client who thinks contractions are every kind of unacceptable.
I love celery, but I think I sold my soul to be a copywriter in the first place. The quack stuff is one-hundred-percent the most upsetting stuff — that and the client who thinks contractions are every kind of unacceptable.
@Ben No, I don’t. And to be honest I’ve got a bit of a problem putting a price together against a one-line, completely open brief, of which I receive quite a few. OK, we all like to get a ballpark price for something we’ve never bought, but beyond that the client needs to ante up with a few proper details of what they actually want (IMHO).
I remembered that I recently wrote some direct-marketing emails for… well, the sorts of things that often get promoted that way. I agonised beforehand over whether I should do it. Then I asked myself who I was kidding. I’m a writer for hire, not James Joyce, so I got over myself and just wrote it as well as I could, which is my job.
Finally, let’s be absolutely clear: cucumber, celery, courgettes and marrow are not foods. THEY ARE PLANTS. Let’s leave ‘em in the ground where they belong.
@Tom I agree. Small matters like type of publication, audience, topic, frequency etc are pretty useful when putting together a price. It often works in the client’s favour too – if it’s a small company, or an individual, I’ll often chop a bit off the normal rate (assuming I like the look of the project).
@Matt Contractions are wonderful, innit?
@Emily Good point. Though, to be fair, if you’re writing on sensitive projects, anonymity is unlikely to be a problem. But I suppose you mean a permanent position – it’s a bit harder to account for three or four years working as a writer for an adult title, for example.
@Mario Your thoughts on Bruce Forsyth crystallise the emotions of millions.
Certainly an interesting question, but also this could become big business. Website owners are starting to realise that high quality content written on a regular basis is essential to beat the competition in the search engines. As Google as got more intelligent it has got better at spotting the fluff and garbage. Professional SEO’s are forever telling clients to write a blog, write interesting and informative content, but most businesses lack the time or the skills to do this. Which is why we will probably see more people asking PR companies to also write content for their websites.
@Jon I quite agree. It’s certainly one of our major growth areas. The other point is that many PR agencies haven’t really got to grips with proper SEO copywriting – if you want interesting content that’s also optimised, it’s better to talk to a copywriting agency like us or find a digital marketing agency with in-house staff who understand what they’re doing.
Under no circumstances write about religion. As editor of the Lands’ End clothing catalogue, I once commissioned the late humourist Stanley Unwin to write the story of The Nativity in his unique language, ‘Unwinese’.
The piece, in a Christmas edition, caused an uproar and almost cost me my job. Every day came letters and phone calls from outraged customers, mortally offended that the Lord’s words had been taken in vain. I was obliged to print an apology in the next issue which than led to another avalanche of complimentary comments. One vicar even told me he had used the piece for his Christmas sermon! But for the anguish it caused me at the time, I’ll never go there again.