February 2nd, 2010
e all have favourite words. Mine include beauties like ‘plop’, ‘scud’ and ‘gargle’, because I like nice sounds more than sophisticated definitions.
But what about the words you hate? The ones that appear like dog turds on the pavement of prose?
I can’t speak for you, but mine are:
1. Peruse
Using the word ‘peruse’ marks you out as a hater of the English language. It is affected, self-regarding, ugly and completely unnecessary. And if you’re the sort of person who likes to ‘peruse at your leisure’, then you ought to be shot. Twice.
2. Musings
One of the main rules of the internet is to never read a blog that claims to be someone’s musings – no matter what the topic. It will be almost certainly be boring, ego-massaging tosspottery (‘tosspottery’ is a fine word).
3. Incentivise
What’s wrong with motivating or encouraging people? Why do we need this revolting arrangement of letters?
4. Beverage
It’s a fecking drink.
5. Mains
When I think ‘mains’, I’m thinking about water and electricity supplies. I’m not thinking about what I want for dinner. If you can’t be bothered to arrange your menu with imagination, ‘main courses’ will do nicely.
6. Leverage
You almost certainly mean ‘use’, so grow up and stop mouthing empty phrases.
7. Obligate
Are you a biologist? No? Then you almost certainly mean ‘oblige’. Stop trying to be clever.
8. Guesstimate
It’s still a guess. Any more compound words like this and we’ll all end up German. Stop.
9. Roll-out
Pretty much the only time this one is acceptable is when you roll out the barrel. You have been warned.
10. Competencies
Use this one and clarity ain’t what you’re good at. And you’ve just lost any chance of me becoming a customer.
So, there you go. Ten horrible words, chosen almost at random, which all make me feel the writer has scraped his nails down a blackboard.
Which ones would you choose?
Ten words that make readers recoil
5:36 pm. Filed under: Blog, Words.
Author: Ben Locker.
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Tags: bad language, jargon, portmanteau words, Words
63 Responses to “Ten words that make readers recoil”
Pudding, when used by anyone who’s not English, if what you mean is a light, fluffy dessert or something fresh and fruity. If it’s a blob of stodge, that’s all right.
I’m guilty of that, but I am English. That said, I think ‘dessert’ is now more common, even when referring to the blobs of stodge.
A few I really can’t be doing with:
Utilise.
Escalate, as in, ‘I’m going to escalate this to your manager.’
Monetise.
Cascade, as in ‘I’ll cascade that down to my employees’.
Utilise is a particular bugbear. Use. Use. Use.
Yep, ‘utilise’ is my all time worst word. Is there ever ever ever a case when ‘use’ would not be better? Too many syllables is the refuge of the unconfident writer (as is jargon and, in the case of novelists, adjectives). There. I’ve spoken. I’ll shut up now…
No, I don’t think there’s ever been a case in which ‘use’ wouldn’t have been better.
Don’t have a top ten but a current one would be
eponymous – used far too frequently on arts shows.
As for favourites, antidisestablishmentarianism has always had a good ring to it, but hard to bring into use on a day-to-day basis.
Eponymous is way too fashionable at the moment. It used to be a handy word, but it’s way too tired now.
I have long hated the word guesstimate.
HATE!
Because you rightly see that it’s shite.
I might have to diarise this article because, going forward, I like to have solutions to hand.
Just a smattering of my most hated ‘bizwords’. Fave word is *crump*. You know – what it sounds like when you walk on fresh snow.
Crump is lovely.
I feel sorry for you if you regularly meet people who use these words in the manner you’ve indicated.
Part of the job…
I agree with most of these, tho being a yank, I’ve never heard of “mains” before. Reading the comments as well, seems that it’s either complex words are those associated with corporate-talk. I read an article somewhere that said the more advanced words you use in an article, the more stupid you actually appear. The best thing you can do for yourself is write to clearly communicate to your audience.
Learnings, as in ‘What are the learnings from that project?’ Particularly awful given that an acceptable word – lessons – already exists.
Synergy, especially as a euphemism for ‘cost saving’.
Any word that ends in ‘-sizing’.
Capabilities, for the same reason you hate competencies.
Solutions. If your company is the solution, what the hell is the problem?
I’m sure there are more….
I’ve never heard ‘learnings’ used like that. It’s horrible.
Mine is ‘gifting’ – I used to work in marketing, and is was common parlance to say, ‘of course, the main function of this item is gifting.’ It made me shudder as much then as it does now. In fact, I ended up interrupting a meeting to say, ‘You do know this isn’t a word, right?’ They all just stared at me. AND it sounds like fisting.
‘Sophomore’ as in ‘Artist X has just released his long-awaited sophomore album’. This use puts my teeth on edge, especially when used by non-US writers. I’m not entirely sure why this is by the way.
Oh, and ‘proactive’. I get hives when I hear this word. Especially when it comes from my own mouth.
I received a branding document from a client once that contained the abomination that was FUNERGY. Yes, you read that correctly, FUNERGY. It’s so bad I think it calls for the upper case.
I think this one could be the winner…
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“Impactful.” Blech. Why do biz/motivational types like a word that evokes a car crash?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with “curate” but here (in the US) it’s fast becoming a pretentious synonym for “choose” (as in, “I curated this outfit”).
“Ballpark figure”.
[shudder...]
Where do I start? Anticipate (when they mean ‘expect’)? Bandwidth? Foodie? Framework? Feel free to check out the rest of my bugbears here: http://www.daccreative.co.uk/goodcopybadcopy/category/words-that-should-be-banned/
I’m just going to step in and say ‘harnessing’.
Vomit.
‘Exciting’ and its derivatives when used in the context of any business: “We’re excited to report that our new muffins are available.”
And – how could I have forgotten – “Bear with me” when spoken by youths and maidens on the phone. I have to bite hard on my tongue when they say it or I’ll answer “Not only will I bear with you, I’ll even hang on.”
‘Exciting’ and ‘excited’ is a disgusting verbal tic that seems to make its way into almost every press release these days.
Gulp. Just realised that my day of Direct Mail letters has been littered with ‘excitement’.
Double gulp. Just realised I made a dumb tautology. But writing Direct Mail (segmented into 14 different groups) can do that to you. Just remember, it’s 8pm in Australia and my eyes are beginning to glaze…
I had a day like that last week. Same letter, tweaked and with a new case study for every single English region. My head was swimming. Probably excitedly…
Can I vote for “complimentaries”, please?
Somewhere along the way, the word ‘complimentary’ became a noun. And now, people on the train ask you ‘if you want any complimentaries’.
Any complimentary what?
Proactively.
You’re either doing something actively or you’re not.
Utilize. (or “utilise,” for you folks across the Pond.)
Hate that word. And, lately I’ve been distancing myself from “get” and “being.” Useless, non-active verbs in my opinion.
By the way – Amazing posts, everyone! Some of you just crack me up.
I don’t like rambunctious or fester!
How about ‘rumbustious’?
At risk of being thrown onto the copywriter dung heap; can a case not be made for some of these words?
Would using “peruse” really deserve a double execution? Does it not have a specific meaning – one not conveyed in quite the same way by other words?
Defending “leverage” might be a little tougher, but it’s used in our blog’s masthead, (which I didn’t write BTW!)so here goes: if you “leverage” something, does it not mean using it in a way that gives you exponentially better results than using that same thing without leverage?
Maybe it’s a UK thing, but in my experience ‘peruse’ is rather an affectation. Nothing will win me over to ‘leverage’, I’m afraid.
Business ones like – solution. Can we talk about IT without solving the world’s problems, please!! Also finesse, when used in copywriting. It usually means to completely rewrite the whole fricking lot. Oh and one PRs use a lot over here in the UK and that is ‘outreach’. What are you? Missionaries?
Outreach is an example of two words being stuck together – the wrong way round – to create something hideous.
‘Leverage’ was the first word that came to my mind. Any of these awful nouns-turned-into-verbs turns the stomach and curls the lip, and sadly they’re on the rise in the UK, despite the bullshit-bingo association.
And perhaps it’s just me, but I instantly disbelieve the person using the word…
Forgot to mention ‘passion’, for reasons summed up very nicely here:
http://www.miltonkeynesbookkeeper.co.uk/tag/corporate-jargon/
Found the word ‘anomalies’ in an email recently.
As in “there seem to be a few anomalies in the data”…conjures up images of little amoeba sea creatures.
Whats wrong with mistakes, errors or cock-ups?!?!
anomalies…disgusting word.
This is a fun game. Here are mine:
Colleagues – when used in a context that actually means employees
Wordsmith – I hate it. Lots of copywriters seem to like it but they’d never dream of calling an accountant a numbersmith.
Purchase – It’s one of those words that is always written but never spoken. ‘Buy’ is so much better
Never mind words – what about phrases? One that consistently keeps coming up in press releases etc (esp because of the Recession!) is “bucking the trend” – as in “so and so company is ‘bucking the trend’… If i read that one more time i may just scream. Get a new hook
The recent Apple campaign for the iPod Touch used the word ‘funnest’ i.e.
‘The funnest iPod ever.’
It made me grind my teeth in my sleep.
Oh god, I had forgotten ‘funnest’. It was on a billboard in Shoreditch for quite some time and I wanted to throw dustbins at it.
The only response to that ad is unbridled acts of bin hurdling violence.
Which bit of Shoreditch? I used to work round there.
Right where Old Street and Great Eastern Road meet. There are two massive billboards on the Old St side. Unavoidable….
It burns the eyes.
Fresh Horseshit. Sympvertising. http://trendwatching.com/trends/2002/12/sympvertising.html
Christ on crutches …
Christ on crutches chucking bins…
Hell hath no fury …
Mea culpa, I use a number of words mentioned in the above comments.
In their defense, some of now-reviled words and phrases began as shorthand. They carried meaning and nuance within certain industry, professional or academic cliques.
When I write healthcare copy, for instance, doctors often insist I describe their equipment as “cutting-edge” and their colleagues (appropriately used here) as “world-class.” Surgeons “pioneer” certain “innovative” procedures and teach them to “next-generation” physicians.
These words mean something specific in doctors’ specialized circles. Not so much when speaking to patients.
Yes, I’ve tried taking the high road and educating world-class scientists and specialists–the irony–about jargon use.
In the end, if they keep penciling in “futuristic” and “premier,” it’s going to stay in the final copy.
Yes, I’m guilty of the cutting-edge stuff, and have used pioneer plenty of times. Though I did laugh at a newspaper article on cloning, which mentioned “Dolly the sheep, a pioneer in her field…”
It’s funny how different words drive different people round the bend. Have to say you’ll need to shoot me Ben, as I don’t mind ‘peruse’ and ‘beverage’ has become a colloquialism ingrained in my small group of friends since we started going down the pub for one at 14!
My feeling is that many of the above have been spawned by marketing executives in various attempts to inject excitement/drama into presentations/campaigns. Incentivise, leverage, competencies, obligate and roll-out are all cases in point.
Of course, as a grumpy old bugger I have a few I really detest, but here’s my latest:
‘Learnings’. ‘We have gained some valuable learnings’. No, you’ve just learned something.
On the other hand, I still welcome new words and new uses and do think that we, as a writing community can get a little too hot under the collar about how others communicate. That said, it still drives me insane when you hand over a perfectly well nurtured apostrophe to a grocer so I guess some things never change in my copy world!
Anyone noticed how ‘follow’ has become a noun on Twitter as in ‘many thanks for the follow’?
Quite a few people have mentioned ‘learnings’. I’ve not come across it before, but it is really horrible. I disliked ‘learning outcomes’, but this takes my disgust to a new level.
Learning outcomes? That’s one I haven’t heard before. Call me ignorant …
I trained as a teacher and then spent several years in the education/ charity sector. The amount of bilge I was forced to read was astonishing.
Somebody already mentioned outreach. ‘I will reach out to’ when you mean you’ll call, email or contact someone is just as bad. Hate that.
The worst word I’ve ever come across is bucketise – what’s wrong with categorise? Every time someone says bucketise I have to run for the next bucket … it’s disgusting.
Christ on crutches chucking bins, on the other hand, is brilliant.
All in a day’s good work Sonya.